Jon (foulds) wrote in advance_wars_ff,

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Hey all,

Ok, I concede, I've been slightly disappointed with the response to Soaring too close to the Sun. Not particularly now, but in general terms, and, especially, compared to Hawke's Vengeance. I knew there were risks in a prequel, in as far as there would be original characters everywhere, but I thought it was better written than Vengeance. Hey, what else is this community for? Please, tell me why Soaring has been so unpopular compared to Vengeance, and why does it receive so few reviews. What's wrong with it? Do I have readers who don't review, or just no readers at all? What could I change?

For those who may not have read it, it features characters that are clearly required for a history (Sonja's mother, who I've named Ami, and Eagle's father, who I called Phoenix). Aside from that, the only real liberty I've taken is Sturm's cloned son, Deinos.

Oh, and just as a shameless attempt to muster some readers, here's a few little extracts from throughout the fic,


Black Hole’s attack helicopters swept overhead, firing their machine guns over the decks. The infantry leapt to the sides of the boats and used the rails and lifeboats as cover, returning the fire. Sensei ran for the bridge as another wave of B-copters soared into view, firing without hesitation. Sensei rushed up the stairs as he heard bullets tear apart the metalwork around him, and couldn’t bear to look around as voices started to scream before being silenced,

“Sensei!” one voice called out. A desperate young voice. One that had trusted Sensei with his life, “Sensei!”

Sensei didn’t turn around. He had to get to cover. Suddenly a shooting pain tore through his leg as the scattering fire of the B-copter happened to find its target. Sensei roared in pain and grasped onto the rail beside him as another bullet shredded his shoulder.

Sensei fell, overcome by the pain. His head struck the metal step with a crack. He stared out at the sea through barely conscious eyes. The world spun. He closed his eyes.



Sturm proceeded to the end of the corridor, where the room narrowed to a thin archway. Behind it, Deinos could see a huge dome shaped room, more dimly lit than the corridor. He noticed steps leading down to the floor, but he couldn’t see what was at the bottom. Deinos waited for his father to step through. Sturm turned away from the arch,

“I cannot enter that room. Go alone”

Deinos walked forwards tentatively. A slight hint of fear crept up on him now. He stepped into the room and gazed at the beautiful shimmering dome shaped ceiling. He noticed that there were no lights. The ceiling was shimmering on its own. Deinos didn’t know what to make of all of this, but this chamber was strongly tied to the power of Black Hole. Deinos, reaching the top of the stairs, looked down.

Then he saw her.

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